


i loved and i loved and i lost you

by wolfsbanex



Category: City of Bones, Shadowhunters, TMI - Fandom, The Mortal Instruments, cassandra clare - Fandom, malec - Fandom, shadowhunterstv
Genre: Angst, Death, Fighting, Isabelle and Jace take care of Alec, M/M, Some Fluff, a lot of tears, everyone is sad, hurt!Magnus, magnus saves Alec, sad!Alec
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-05-14
Updated: 2016-05-14
Packaged: 2018-06-08 09:56:12
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,058
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6849643
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/wolfsbanex/pseuds/wolfsbanex
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>It all happened so fast.<br/>Alec had his bow ready, but the demon was faster.<br/>Magnus looked at Alec, layed all of his love in this look.<br/>Then he ran.<br/>Alec froze as he watched the warlock.<br/>"NO!"</p>
            </blockquote>





	i loved and i loved and i lost you

**Author's Note:**

> ENGLISH ISN'T MY FIRST LANGUAGE!
> 
> ♥ hope you enjoy it.  
> ♥ this was my first time every writing this kind of angst, so don't be so hard on me please :D
> 
> ( there is a little parallel to teen wolf in it too ! )

Alec was exhausted, sweat running over his back and face. Isabelle looked at her brother, but the loud scream of Jace stabbing a demon made them turn around. Clary searched for them with her eyes. Fear. This was the first time that Alec ever felt so frightened. „Izzy“, he whispered and pointed at a window. Behind it, they could see shadows. A lot of them. „They're getting more and more. We have to get out!“ he said and started running, the footsteps of three others following him, echoing through the empty building. „Why are there so many?!“ Clary screamed. „Don't worry, we'll be okay. Everything will be okay.“ Jace. He tried to sound calm, but Alec could hear that he felt as much fear as he did. They entered a room, without any windows or doors. They were trapped. Nervously they all tried to catch their breath. „Alec..“, Izzy muttered. Alec took the hand of his sister and squeezed it softly. „We'll be okay Izzy. Everything will be okay.“ He was repeating Jaces words. Because he couldn't think. His head was empty. Nothing would be okay. He tried not to think about what he had planned this evening. He had a date with Magnus in his mind, under the stars. Drinking wine, talking and maybe, just maybe...Alecs fingers slipped into his pockets where he gripped the small box he had in there. He opened it slightly and felt the cold metall of the ring on his fingertips. He would die. Right here. He would never see Magnus again. Never hear his laugh, watch his smile or just stare into his beautiful golden cat eyes. „I'm so sorry Mags“, he muttered quietly and felt a tear dropping down his cheek. He promised him he would be safe, come back alive. He never broke this promise. But now he would. He heard the demons. They were near. Clary was in Jace' arms. Izzy hugged her brother tightly. Then they heard it. A portal. Magnus stepped out of it and Alecs mouth dropped open.

 

„Magnus.“ the warlock smiled at him. „Go through the porta...“ the door smashed open. The demons filled the room. The fight began. The air smelled like metall. Magnus felt like he would vomit. He watched every of Alecs movements. He promised this stupid shadowhunter he would always keep him safe. He would never break this promise. The portal closed and Magnus felt his heart drop. Clary screamed, Jace was yelling something, but he couldn't hear it. All his attention was on Alec. That is when it happened. It all happened so fast. It all happened so fast. Alec had his bow ready, but the demon was faster. Magnus looked at Alec, layed all of his love in this look. Then he ran. Alec froze as he watched the warlock. "NO!"

 

It was Alec. He screamed so loud that it was ringing in his own ears. Blood was pouring out of his warlocks mouth. The demon buried his claws in Magnus' chest. Dangerously close to Magnus' heart. Alecs heart. Then the demon stopped. They all did. Like they were called from a invisible voice, they vanished. Alecs bow slipped through his fingers as he fell on his knees. He hugged Magnus close to his chest and cried. „Magnus heal yourself, please...“ Magnus looked at Alec, cupped his cheek softly with his hand. „Magnus please“, Alec cried, holding the warlock. „I can't.“ he muttered. „Alec, please, promise me something...“ Alec stopped him. „No. You won't die. You can't! I was supposed to die before you did. Don't you fucking dare die on my you stupid, selfish asshole!“ Magnus lips were stained with blood. Alec kissed him anyway. He felt the hot breath of Magnus against his lips. „Don't die, please. I love you Magnus, i love you so much.“ Magnus smiled. „I love you too Alexander.“ Alecs heart jumped. „Please, don't leave me.“ Alec felt like he was dying too. Magnus mouth opened. Alec activated a rune on his hand and gripped Magnus' hand. Jace, Clary and Izzy watched them, tears running over their shocked faces. „I can't take your pain.“ Alec whispered, confused. „That's because it doesn't hurt. I'm in the arms of my first big love.“ Magnus breathed out. „I love you.“ Alec smiled sadly. Then he just cried into Magnus chest, the fingers of the warlock running through his hair. Then they stopped and Alec could feel Magnus going limb in his arms. „No no no no no.“ Alec searched for Magnus eyes, just to see the life leaving them. „NO!“ he screamed so loud that he thought the demons would come back right away. Izzy hugged her brother tightly. Letting him cry into her shoulder. Jace got on his knees beside Alec. He buried his nose in Alecs hair and just held his hand.

 

After this day, Alec wasn't the same anymore. He never cried. He never missed a fight. He sacrificed himself for what happened that day. He stood outside of the institute, breathing in the cold air. Jace joined him. „Alec. It wasn't your fault.“ he whispered. Alec felt numb. „Shut up.“ Jace took his hand. „No, Alec, no. It wasn't...“ „IT WAS!“ Jace turned around. He could see tears shimmering in his parabatais eyes. His heart dropped. „If i'd have been fast enough, he'd be still alive.“ Alecs voice broke. „He died, because of me.“ Jace shook his head. „No, he saved you, because he loves you more than anything.“ Alec laughed quietly. „Jace, it feels like my heart got ripped out of my chest. I love him so much it hurts. Whenever i saw him, my breath stopped, my heartbeat got faster. When he touched me, it felt like magic. Like sparks running through my body. In his eyes i could see the universe and he gave me so much.“ he took a deep breath in. „And the sad thing is, i don't know if i'm ever gonna feel that way again. Now, i just feel like i'm never gonna be happy again.“

 

This night was horrible. Alec cried and cried and cried. No matter who tried to calm him down, he wouldn't stop. Crying over his lost love, he fell asleep on Jace chest. „I think maybe, someday, we'll be okay“, Jace whispered, „you'll see him again. I promise.“

**Author's Note:**

> ♥ i'd be very thankful for kudos and comments, as always! :)


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